when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
