the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
