i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
