Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
