I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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