Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
