i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
