I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
