guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
