That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
