Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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