can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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