I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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