honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
