Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
