You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
