i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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