I am spending my child support on dildos
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
