Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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