On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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