I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
