my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
