Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How external is "for external use only"?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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