two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
