OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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