420 ftw
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
