I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
