If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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