I will die if light touches me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
