it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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