she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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