you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
