What a fucking waste of an outfit
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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