hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
