Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
