I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
