i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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