I heard we made out
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
