Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize