I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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