"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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