Fuck appropriateness.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
