best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
