Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
