Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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