It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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