A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
