it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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