Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
