If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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