no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
