Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
