hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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